Is there a doctor in the house?
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No, not you, or you or you - you are all the wrong type of doctors.
There was an old TV ad that said "Oils aint oils", and now it appears that doctors aren't doctors.
It seems so many have the Dr letters at the front of their names, yet so few of them are able to provide the medical help so many of us expect.
So why all this confusion?
Sure, all people who complete a doctorate are entitled to call themselves a doctor, but instead of medical help they are more likely to talk to you for hours on end about whatever their specialist subject happens to be.
Can't we find a different name for one or the other, just to avoid confusion?
But there are others who call themselves doctors, like chiropractors, vets, dentists - heck, an old friend of mine who is a dental prosthetist even takes the doctor title on himself.
And what about the Doctors of Religion?
When is this all going to end?
Are we going to have Tyre Doctors, Doctors of News, Wordology Doctors, Doctors of Road Repairs, Doctors of Criticising Council soon become part of the modern vernacular?
There is an old trick to getting the best deal when travelling, that says if you fill out forms and click or cross the Dr box as your title when booking flights or accommodation, that you maximise your chance of getting upgraded.
Is that what is happening here?
Are so many of us quietly, even subconsciously, trying to get an upgrade in life by taking on the doctor title, regardless of whether or not it is deserved?
That seems to be the symptom of a sickness that would require treatment by a fair dinkum medical doctor.